What does the Bible say about having a relationship, dating or courting?

What does the Bible say about having a relationship, dating or courting?

Are you looking for the love of your life? Let’s think about it for a moment. First of all, it is not a strange thing to look for the love of your life, or to look for a friendship or companionship. People are relational beings. That’s how God created us. We are made to live in relationships. So, if we think about looking for an intimate relationship that ends up in marriage – we discover that the Bible gives us certain principles.

Before we think about courtship and relationships between people, it is important to recognize that there is one relationship that really counts. It is the most important one, and it is our relationship with God through Jesus Christ. Our Lord Himself has said:

If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple.” (Luke 14:26-27 ESV)

Our relationship with God through Jesus Christ has to be our highest priority. A Christian needs to live a life that is founded upon the Word of God and led by the Holy Spirit. There must be one uncorrupted love in a Christian’s life, and that is the love for Jesus Christ.

The goal of Marriage

If we want to start a relationship with someone in order to marry that person, we need to know God’s purpose with marriage. There is absolutely no goal in marriage apart from Jesus Christ. God’s will is that the Christian will be conformed to the image of His Son. In marriage, God gives a man to a woman in order to grow into the likeness of Christ. God designed marriage for one man and one woman, who both have to fulfill their God-given roles.

No healthy relationship without Jesus

The spiritual meaning of marriage points us to the love of Christ for His bride, the Church.

The spiritual meaning of marriage points us to the love of Christ for His bride, the Church. Christ laid down His life for her, so the husband needs to lay down his life for the well-being of his wife. The Church submits to the lordship of her Lord and King, and so the wife has to submit herself under the headship of her husband – not like a slave, but as someone who realizes her husband is a gift from God who has the responsibility to lead her spiritually and to “cleanse her by the washing of water with the Word” (Ephesians 5:26).

But how do you know you can marry someone? What are some basic principles to discover this and to make sure you’ll get to know each other more? What is appropriate dating? And what is Biblical courtship?

In the New Testament, we see that the apostle Paul gives us some very helpful guidance. We can find them in 1 Corinthians 7:

  • Sex is to be exclusively enjoyed in marriage (vs. 1-5)
  • Somebody who cannot exercise self-control, should marry (vs. 2-3, 9)
  • Somebody who comes to faith in Christ when he or she is already married, must be faithful to his unbelieving spouse (vs. 12-13)
  • A believer in Christ should not marry with an unbeliever in order to get that persons saved. The only exception Paul makes is a person who converts to Christ when he or she is already married (vs. 14-16, cf. 2 Corinthians 6:14)

Are you looking for a bride or bridegroom? Then make sure you are first united by faith to the heavenly Bridegroom – Jesus Christ!

How does this Bible teaching speak to you? Please share your thoughts below!

Also read What does it mean to have a Christian marriage?

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Robert Bezemer

Robert Bezemer

Robert Bezemer (1988) grew up in the Dutch city of Eindhoven. After secondary school, He decided to study Theology at Christian graduate school. He works as a data engineer. He is also involved with Veritas College International, which is especially founded to help people read and better understand the Bible for themselves. In 2013 He married his wife Rolinda.

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