“Therefore Hannah wept and would not eat. And Elkanah, her husband, said to her, ‘Hannah, why do you weep? And why do you not eat? And why is your heart sad? Am I not more to you than ten sons?’” (1 Samuel 1:7-8)
Hannah was upset by Peninnah’s meanness and her own hopeless situation. She wept and would not eat. Her husband was trying his best to express his love for her, but he did not understand her pain. He asked her, “Why is your heart sad? Am I not more to you than ten sons?”. This question makes clear that he did not understand his wife’s feelings at all.
If we feel sad, it’s great when others sympathize with our emotions. It helps us to talk with someone who has gone through the same thing, or who just listens attentively. But if people around us show over and over again that they don’t understand us, or if they come up with solutions that don’t hit the core of our problem, this only increases our loneliness and frustration. Although their words are well-meant, they don’t help.
Job had the same experience with his friends. Utterly frustrated, he exclaimed: “You are like worthless doctors who cannot heal anyone. I wish you would just be quiet. That would be the wisest thing you could do” (Job 13:4-5, ERV).
Do you feel like your friends and family members understand you? How do you react if they completely miss the point?