I gave my life to the Lord but I have not followed through! I have not read my Bible and I have negative thoughts and bad dreams. Is Satan trying to have his way with me? I feel like I’m not worthy of God’s love. I don’t want to end up in hell! Please lead me back to Jesus! I need Him!
First of all an encouragement: you are on the right track. Many people have walked away from the Lord and are not concerned about it. You are. That is the first step to getting right with God. Yes, Satan is certainly trying to have his way with you. Satan tries to sidetrack anybody with a spiritual interest. So you are certainly right that you need Jesus. Nobody can stand against Satan on his own. We can only do that in the power of Jesus.
Did you really commit your life to God?
The first important question is: did you really commit your life to God? Committing your life to God is much more than a prayer. It is faith that Jesus died for your sins and was raised for your justification (Romans 4:25). This faith makes you a new man. The Holy Spirit of God comes to live in you, and gives you the desire to serve God. Faith is not a fear of hell that makes us turn to God grudgingly. It is love for Jesus that makes us run to Him.
Turn away from sin and turn to Jesus
If you are not sure you are a believer, turn away from sin, and turn to Jesus. Cling to Him. He offers you salvation from your sins and eternal life. Believe that you cannot earn that for yourself, but that He earned it for you. Yes, it is true: you are not worthy of God’s love. Nobody is. But Jesus loves sinners, and never yet turned anybody down who came to Him for salvation. That is the beauty of the Christian faith: it is not about us trying to be good, so that we earn God’s love. It is about God loving us when we were still sinners, so that we are changed through his grace.
What if you are a believer?
It is possible that you really are a believer, but are still struggling with these doubts. They will last as long as you are not faithfully walking with the Lord. It is God’s way of calling you back to Him. It is a holy unrest and dissatisfaction with life without Him. You know there is something better! No, you will not end up in hell. God will lead all His children safely home. But the journey there will only be a joyful journey as you walk on the path He has set before you.
What to do to get rid of the doubts and to have sweet fellowship with Jesus?
What to do to get rid of the doubts and to have sweet fellowship with Jesus? There really are no secrets about this. It is the simple things that the Lord commands us in his Word:
- Do not be a Christian in word only, but in deed. Break with your sins. Obey God.
- Be a faithful member of a local church, which is the Body of Christ. Let your faith be built up through participation in the Lord’s Supper and through listening to the preaching of God’s Word.
- Make time to be part of a house group, where believers encourage and exhort each other. In a small group it is much easier to ask questions and ask for prayer than in a worship service with many people.
- Worship God personally. Sing to Him. Pray to Him. Hear his voice in His Word.
- Serve God. Do not be a consumer, but a servant. God has given you spiritual gifts. Start using them, and you will grow in your faith.
This is what walking with the Lord looks like. Enjoy His presence!