It is no secret that a healthy, strong marriage requires good communication between a husband and wife. It is also no secret that there is no such thing as a perfect marriage. Every married couple will experience miscommunication at some point in their marriage. Even couples who have been married for years and years still fight every now and then. As Christians, however, it is important that we learn how to properly address these communication problems because the Bible says that marriage is a picture of Christ’s love for the Church. Ephesians 5:31-33 says, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” Here are a few things to keep in mind when facing communication issues in your marriage.
Honesty is one of the most important aspects to any healthy marriage. Your spouse should be the one person with whom you can share anything and everything. Lying and withholding information from your spouse will only make your problems with communication worse. Amos 3:3 says, “Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?” A husband and wife must agree if they are to grow and move forward in their relationship. There is no way for this to happen if honesty is not a priority.
Listen more than you speak; be present
One of the most common reasons for communication problems in marriage is poor listening skills. As a husband, I know that I am guilty of this myself. I can be so selfish as to not give my wife the attention and respect that she deserves. Many communication problems could be easily avoided if we simply gave our spouses our undivided attention. Furthermore, the Bible makes it clear that we should be careful with our words. We should also be careful not to interrupt our spouses when they are speaking. This could communicate that we don’t really care about what they have to say or value their opinion. James 1:19 has this to say: “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.” We would all do well to live by these words daily.
Christian married couples should not love as the world loves — we are to love our spouses unconditionally. This means we choose to love them even when they sin and mess up. And by God’s grace, they will love us in the same way. It is important that we never lose sight of how much we been forgiven by God. With this in mind, we should be quick to forgive our spouses when they do and say hurtful things. And we should be quick to ask for their forgiveness when we sin against them. Consider memorizing Ephesians 4:32—”Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”
Prayer for those struggling with communication in marriage
If you are currently struggling with communicating here is a simple prayer that you could pray to ask God for help.
Heavenly Father, I know you know that [spouse’s name] and I are having a hard communicating right now. Lord, help us to be honest with one another in every situation. Help me to be quick to hear and slow to speak; I want [spouse’s name] to know how much I care about [him or her] and value [his or her] opinion. Show us Your grace when we sin against You. And help us to love one another unconditionally. In Jesus’ name. Amen.