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How to be a good husband?

How to be a good husband?

If the Lord has given you a wife, He calls you to love her, to understand her, to honour her, to lead her, to provide for her, and to sleep with her.

Love her

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25). Christ’s love for His church went so far that He was willing to die for us. In the same way, husbands should love their wives so much that they are willing to give their lives for them. Nobody can love like Jesus loved, so it is impossible to reach the standard that the Bible gives us. This should make every husband realise he needs to depend on the Lord daily to love his wife as much as he should.

Understand her

Husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way” (1 Peter 3:7). Though many men think it is impossible to understand women, if you are a husband you are called to do your best to understand at least one: your wife. You have to listen to her. You have to ask her questions. You have to realise that her feelings work differently from your feelings.

Honour her

Showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel” (1 Peter 3:7). Because both you and your wife have a soul for eternity, you have equal worth. Because your wife is weaker than you are, you need  to honour her in a special way to show you realise her worth. You also need to protect her. Feminism insists on obscuring differences between men and women. This leads to a loss of the realisation that men need to honour and protect women, especially husbands their wives. In the grind of daily living, the command to husbands to “not be harsh” with their wives (Colossians 3:19) is one of the most important ways to show the honour wives deserve.

Lead her

The husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church” (Ephesians 5:23). In marriage husband and wife each have their own role and responsibility. Here we see that a happy marriage is a marriage where a husband gives loving leadership to his wife, seeking the best for her and for their family.

Provide for her

A husband should nourish and cherish his wife (Ephesians 5:29). He makes sure that food and shelter is provided, both physically and spiritually.

Sleep with her

The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights” (1 Corinthians 7:3). This verse shows that even in sexual relationships, the husband is giving, not taking. His emphasis is on his wife’s pleasure, not his own. Sexuality is celebrated in the Bible (see Song of Songs, Proverbs 5). It is to be enjoyed within the borders that God has set for it – the marriage of a man and a woman. A husband is called to be always faithful to his wife (Hebrews 13:4).

Having a wife is a blessing from the Lord (Proverbs 18:22). If you have received that blessing, honour God and honour your wife by treating her according to God’s guidelines!

How does this Bible passage speak to you? Please share your thoughts below!

Also read What does it mean to have a Christian marriage?

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Marten Visser

Marten Visser

Marten Visser (1971), experienced a call from the Lord to be a missionary while in Kindergarten. He received M.Div., Th.M. in Missiology, M.A. in cultural anthropology degrees and a Ph.D. degree in Theology. In 2000 he became a church planting missionary in Thailand with OMF, together with his wife Esther. In 2015 he returned to the Netherlands where he founded GlobalRize. He continues to serve as GlobalRize’s director of evangelism.

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