What does the Bible say about finding your mate?

What does the Bible say about finding your mate?

Can I ask for tips about love relationships between boys and girls in the Christian life? How do we acknowledge whether he or she is the one God has given us?

Before we begin to ascertain whether a man or woman is the right match for us and whether they are God’s planned match for us, we first must understand what it means to walk in the will of God. Life’s decisions can become so murky if we are constantly trying to seek out something that is not so revealed. So often, we get the question from people, “what’s God’s will for me in my dating decision?” Or, we get the question, “what’s God’s will for me in the college I go to, or the job I choose?” Such a question is difficult to answer because we may be trying to understand the secret will of God, rather than His revealed will.

Right relationship with God

Therefore, to handle the questions of the “right girlfriend/boyfriend,” the “right spouse,” we must first seek to have the right relationship with God. This comes from studying His Word, prayer, continued confession of sin and repentance from sin, clinging to the unchanging promises of Christ, seeking first His kingdom and His righteousness (Matthew 6:33), and finding good Christian counsel from our mature Christian friends who would make sure that our emotions are not leading us into hasty irrational decisions. Then, as we grow in our Christian walk, our decisions will be based on wisdom from God rather than fleeting emotions.

Attributes we would want in our mate

In one sense, God has a person for us because He has ordained everything that will come to pass, but for anyone to seek out a special confirmation that this friend is the one for them would be a waste of time. Instead, we should determine the attributes we would want in our mate.

Below you will find a few tips (not exhaustive) that can help you determine if the person fits well with you.

  • Is he or she a Christian? We know that Scripture warns Christians to not be unequally yoked (2 Corinthians 6:14) with unbelievers (which we can apply to marriage).
  • Is this person growing in his/her faith or is he/she stagnant? Consider his spiritual devotion when making your decision. Is he rooted in the Word of God? How is his prayer life? Does he frequently attend worship services? Do you see evidence of the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23)?
  • Do you trust this person? How is his character? Look at his relationships with others. Is he well regarded by everyone he encounters? Does he respect others (1 Peter 2:17)?
  • Ask your friends and family – those who know you best – whether or not they think your potential girlfriend/boyfriend is right for you? Though your friends could certainly be wrong, they may be able to provide some insight into the situation that you may not be able to see.

May God bless you and help you find peace in your relationships.

How does this Bible teaching speak to you? Please share your thoughts below!

Also read When can you start courtship?

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Biblword is a ministry of GlobalRize. Marten Visser is the founding director of GlobalRize. Marten is a pastor from The Netherlands with long years of experience as a missionary in Thailand. We now have around 550 people from all over the world involved in GlobalRize’s ministry. Besides the English page, Biblword also exists in 25 other languages on Facebook.

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